Zakfabdid is a god.

She takes the form of a large, staggering lobster.

Zakfabdid created an up quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zakfabdid, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Zakfabdid, she will turn you into a snail.

Zakfabdid's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Zakfabdid's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Worship no other gods but Zakfabdid.

3. Feed all hungry badgers.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.