Sitcebtarp is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, cheerful squid.

Sitcebtarp created the planet Jupiter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Sitcebtarp, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Sitcebtarp, he will turn you into a hamster.

Sitcebtarp's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Sitcebtarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never talk about sheep.

3. Do not kill badgers.

4. Never paint your neck gray.

5. Always help ants.