Flapzedved is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, unfair turtle.

Flapzedved created the Whirlpool Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flapzedved, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Flapzedved, it will turn you into a tree.

Flapzedved's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Flapzedved's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of whales.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Heed all signs.

4. Put Flapzedved first in all things.

5. Do not leap in public.