Somtailhon is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, passionate wren.

Somtailhon created the cosmos five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Somtailhon, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Somtailhon, he will turn you into a sheep.

Somtailhon's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Somtailhon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill otters.

2. Cats are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Somtailhon in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not record names concerning stars.