Yatgumflag Gubkadfar is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, awe-inspiring raccoon.

Yatgumflag Gubkadfar created the Andromeda Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yatgumflag Gubkadfar, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Yatgumflag Gubkadfar, he will turn you into a mouse.

Yatgumflag Gubkadfar's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Yatgumflag Gubkadfar's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Yatgumflag Gubkadfar's priests.

2. Always count to six before sleeping.

3. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Yatgumflag Gubkadfar in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never eat lentils.

5. Never leap in the presence of turtles.