Quatbapnelfemdabgilwon is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, astonishing aardvark.

Quatbapnelfemdabgilwon created viruses seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quatbapnelfemdabgilwon, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Quatbapnelfemdabgilwon, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Quatbapnelfemdabgilwon's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Quatbapnelfemdabgilwon's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never speak the names of nebulae aloud.

3. Never eat lentils on holy days.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never talk about planets.