Muttoflap is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, fast walrus.

Muttoflap created the Sombrero Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Muttoflap, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Muttoflap, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Muttoflap's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Muttoflap's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no eagles in a room before entering it.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Hide from purple ants for they are unholy.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Muttoflap.

5. Never play with disobedient children.