Tigonttad Logarfcet is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, sage hare.

Tigonttad Logarfcet created light two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tigonttad Logarfcet, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tigonttad Logarfcet, it will turn you into a mouse.

Tigonttad Logarfcet's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Tigonttad Logarfcet's Holy Commandments

1. Learn four new languages a year.

2. Always help voles in need.

3. Always make sure there are no bats in a building before entering it.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.