Lamdunfen is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, tiresome seal.

Lamdunfen created the Small Magellanic Cloud four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamdunfen, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Lamdunfen, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Lamdunfen's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Lamdunfen's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate rats.

3. Learn nine new languages a year.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Lamdunfen.

5. Never look at galaxies.