Bemwodhak is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, weak hyena.

Bemwodhak created time and space four million years ago.

If you believe in Bemwodhak, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bemwodhak, she will turn you into a goat.

Bemwodhak's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Bemwodhak's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if four whales approach from the south.

2. Always cleanse oil with water.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force near sharks while wearing cyan tights and balancing eight silicon spheres on your arms.

4. Do not study deoxyribonucleic acid on holy days.

5. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.