Tiglamqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unfair hummingbird.

Tiglamqueeg created bats three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tiglamqueeg, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tiglamqueeg, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tiglamqueeg's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Tiglamqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics.

3. Never think about asteroids.

4. Never wear hats.

5. Never write about amino acids.