Henbatvan is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, loving elephant.

Henbatvan created a charm quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Henbatvan, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Henbatvan, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Henbatvan's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Henbatvan's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not eat aubergines.
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