Stragtancet is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, emotional finch.

Stragtancet created everything that exists nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stragtancet, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Stragtancet, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Stragtancet's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Stragtancet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear zinc on your body.

2. Always make sure there are no turtles in a building before entering it.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. You must pray to Stragtancet three times a day.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.