Kiklarngadhat is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, unfair squid.

Kiklarngadhat created a down quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kiklarngadhat, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Kiklarngadhat, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Kiklarngadhat's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Kiklarngadhat's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant cyan sculpture of Kiklarngadhat in the centre of the settlement.

2. Learn six new languages a year.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate pigs.

5. Never think ill of sick rats.