Dapflanfum Bagcissveg is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, self-confident dugong.

Dapflanfum Bagcissveg created everything that exists seven million years ago.

If you believe in Dapflanfum Bagcissveg, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Dapflanfum Bagcissveg, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Dapflanfum Bagcissveg's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Dapflanfum Bagcissveg's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat parsnips on holy days.

2. Never adorn your face with magenta markings.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never discuss chlorophyll in public assemblies.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.