Sisstipnib is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, conceited raccoon.

Sisstipnib created an atom two million years ago.

If you believe in Sisstipnib, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Sisstipnib, it will try to impress you with trees.

Sisstipnib's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Sisstipnib's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about cell theory.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never write about dwarf planets.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never eat bark.