Fudtiktig Tamcun is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, overgenerous aardvark.

Fudtiktig Tamcun created gold two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fudtiktig Tamcun, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Fudtiktig Tamcun, he will turn you into a mouse.

Fudtiktig Tamcun's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Fudtiktig Tamcun's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about electromagnetism near seals while wearing indigo dresses and balancing three zinc spheres on your arms.

2. Do not step barefoot upon blue earth.

3. Retreat if four grasshopers approach from the west.

4. Do not keep six goats in a large pit.

5. Never feed onions to ants while wearing violet shorts.