Zagmanbab is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, bad-tempered crab.

Zagmanbab created an atom four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zagmanbab, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Zagmanbab, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Zagmanbab's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Zagmanbab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about thermodynamics near moths while wearing orange tights and balancing three platinum spheres on your back.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Erect a giant copper sculpture of Zagmanbab in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always share limes with strangers, but never with tortoises.