Stigbonshav is a god.

He takes the form of a small, boastful unicorn.

Stigbonshav created light seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stigbonshav, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Stigbonshav, he will turn you into a rock.

Stigbonshav's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Stigbonshav's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. You must love Stigbonshav.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never hurt tapirs.

5. Fast once a month.