Dudflamtad Jadrutdim Gadkimhak is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, selfish coyote.

Dudflamtad Jadrutdim Gadkimhak created the Milkyway eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dudflamtad Jadrutdim Gadkimhak, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Dudflamtad Jadrutdim Gadkimhak, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Dudflamtad Jadrutdim Gadkimhak's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Dudflamtad Jadrutdim Gadkimhak's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never paint your hands indigo.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate mice.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Retreat if eight shrews approach from the north.