Rutzedten is a god.
She takes the form of an enormous, awe-inspiring
crow.
Rutzedten created the Tadpole Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.
If you believe in
Rutzedten, she will grant you eternal life.
If you do not believe in
Rutzedten, she will boil you in a big pot.
Rutzedten's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.
Rutzedten's Holy Commandments1. Worship no other gods but Rutzedten.
2. Never talk about special relativity near porpoises while wearing mauve corsets and balancing seven gold spheres on your feet.
3. Never mention eagles.
4. Do not keep eight birds in a large pit.
5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.