Ortbabvaggunsisrillzakpag is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, moody bee.

Ortbabvaggunsisrillzakpag created Asia three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortbabvaggunsisrillzakpag, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Ortbabvaggunsisrillzakpag, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Ortbabvaggunsisrillzakpag's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Ortbabvaggunsisrillzakpag's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear white corsets.

2. Never jump in the presence of elders.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not count beyond nine during ceremonies.

5. You must never eat peas.