Kanhunjinpon is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, temperamental meerkat.

Kanhunjinpon created the world nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kanhunjinpon, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Kanhunjinpon, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Kanhunjinpon's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Kanhunjinpon's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Kanhunjinpon.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Retreat if eight birds approach from the east.