Latsagbonk is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, thoughtless wyvern.

Latsagbonk created everything that exists five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Latsagbonk, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Latsagbonk, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Latsagbonk's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Latsagbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed melons to cats while wearing magenta stockings.

2. Never think about dark energy.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

5. Respect your elders.