Cidfunquaf is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, astonishing whale.

Cidfunquaf created a Higgs boson two years ago.

If you believe in Cidfunquaf, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Cidfunquaf, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Cidfunquaf's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Cidfunquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cidfunquaf.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not kill geese.