Capyarlmiscedyattcinfonken is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, smart dryad.

Capyarlmiscedyattcinfonken created everything that exists eight million years ago.

If you believe in Capyarlmiscedyattcinfonken, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Capyarlmiscedyattcinfonken, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Capyarlmiscedyattcinfonken's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Capyarlmiscedyattcinfonken's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Learn five new languages a year.

5. Fast once a month.