Flywanquam is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, quiet mink.

Flywanquam created a bottom quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flywanquam, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flywanquam, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Flywanquam's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Flywanquam's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of fate in the presence of elders.

2. Never look at planets.

3. Never adorn your chest with magenta markings.

4. Never paint your neck turquoise.

5. Never point your arms toward the west during prayer.