Kartettirotdavmeg is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, competent cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Kartettirotdavmeg created water nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kartettirotdavmeg, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Kartettirotdavmeg, he will turn you into a snail.

Kartettirotdavmeg's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Kartettirotdavmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Erect four nickel sculptures of Kartettirotdavmeg on top of important buildings.

3. Do not take Kartettirotdavmeg's name in vain.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Do not wear green clothing.