Yartcumflat is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, astonishing jackal.

Yartcumflat created oxygen nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yartcumflat, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Yartcumflat, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Yartcumflat's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Yartcumflat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about moons.

2. Never think about spacetime near whales while wearing blue boots and balancing six gold spheres on your feet.

3. Do not trade with those who eat figs.

4. Never wear ear rings.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.