Quatkanhad is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, strong fly.

Quatkanhad created the planet Jupiter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatkanhad, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Quatkanhad, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Quatkanhad's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Quatkanhad's Holy Commandments

1. Never adorn your chest with black markings.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never go into indigo rooms.

4. Never think about solid mechanics near grasshopers while wearing magenta hats and balancing three gold spheres on your head.

5. Never laugh near rats.