Timwipjig is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, impressive badger.

Timwipjig created carbon four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Timwipjig, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Timwipjig, he will have a low opinion of you.

Timwipjig's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Timwipjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never discuss evolution by means of natural selection in public assemblies.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never travel toward the east during winter.

4. Always remove corsets before entering holy places.

5. Do not shave your arms.