Fotsugstaf is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, awesome bird.

Fotsugstaf created an up quark four years ago.

If you believe in Fotsugstaf, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fotsugstaf, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Fotsugstaf's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Fotsugstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry whales.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not take Fotsugstaf's name in vain.

4. Never wear indigo ear rings.

5. Always help mice.