Gonwegcab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, ill-tempered octopus.

Gonwegcab created the planet Jupiter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gonwegcab, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gonwegcab, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Gonwegcab's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Gonwegcab's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat nematodes with great respect.

2. Never think about comets.

3. Never wear scarves.

4. You must love Gonwegcab.

5. Never paint your feet magenta.