Witquagfut is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, witless mole.

Witquagfut created a Higgs boson eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Witquagfut, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Witquagfut, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Witquagfut's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Witquagfut's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing near hamsters.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never eat apples.

4. Feed all hungry geese.

5. Do not listen to music.