Begzenhog is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, tiresome swallow.

Begzenhog created tapeworms four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Begzenhog, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Begzenhog, it will remove you from existence.

Begzenhog's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Begzenhog's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Put Begzenhog first in all things.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Begzenhog on top of all buildings.