Minrulcap Zagkopgov Cimjonvad is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, unfair grasshopper.

Minrulcap Zagkopgov Cimjonvad created a bottom quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Minrulcap Zagkopgov Cimjonvad, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Minrulcap Zagkopgov Cimjonvad, it will turn you into a snail.

Minrulcap Zagkopgov Cimjonvad's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Minrulcap Zagkopgov Cimjonvad's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Minrulcap Zagkopgov Cimjonvad loves otters, so they must be honoured.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Minrulcap Zagkopgov Cimjonvad.

4. Always count to eight before sleeping.

5. Hide if nine geese approach from the west.