Habtityog is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, loving monkey.

Habtityog created the universe eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Habtityog, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Habtityog, she will refuse to believe in you.

Habtityog's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Habtityog's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near tapirs while wearing cyan stockings and balancing four lead spheres on your arms.

2. Never carve symbols of dwarf planets into wood.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity.

4. Never gather six shrews near towers.

5. Never hurt moths.