Gontinwotcat Gardadmis is a god.

She takes the form of a small, weak penguin.

Gontinwotcat Gardadmis created the Small Magellanic Cloud three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gontinwotcat Gardadmis, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gontinwotcat Gardadmis, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Gontinwotcat Gardadmis' most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Gontinwotcat Gardadmis' Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Erect a large iron sculpture of Gontinwotcat Gardadmis on top of all buildings.