Jigwigmeg is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, contented cat.

Jigwigmeg created a charm quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Jigwigmeg, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Jigwigmeg, it will destroy your home planet.

Jigwigmeg's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Jigwigmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jigwigmeg.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not speak sacred words in summer.

4. Do not study evolution by means of natural selection on holy days.

5. Heed all portents.