Dogpaghad is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, staggering mole.

Dogpaghad created the planet Saturn nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Dogpaghad, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Dogpaghad, it will laugh at you.

Dogpaghad's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Dogpaghad's Holy Commandments

1. Never pray while filled with fear.

2. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not gather at towers at midday.

4. Never speak of order in the presence of children.

5. Never wear turquoise jumpers.