Wanfenbess Wegmumgig is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, merciful pig.

Wanfenbess Wegmumgig created snails three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wanfenbess Wegmumgig, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Wanfenbess Wegmumgig, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Wanfenbess Wegmumgig's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Wanfenbess Wegmumgig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear hats marked with blue.

2. Horses are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never think about eukaryotes.

4. Do not resist fate.

5. Never talk about amino acids.