Hinzagablog is a god.

He takes the form of a large, overgenerous weasel.

Hinzagablog created matter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hinzagablog, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Hinzagablog, he will come to you in dreams.

Hinzagablog's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Hinzagablog's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hinzagablog.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not keep six tortoises in a large pit.

5. Always cleanse oil with water.