Yarbetbum is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, resourceful hamster.

Yarbetbum created the planet Saturn four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarbetbum, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Yarbetbum, she will laugh at you.

Yarbetbum's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Yarbetbum's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no sharks in a room before entering it.

2. Never talk about cell theory.

3. Always share peas with strangers, but never with tapirs.

4. Hide from brown hamsters for they are unholy.

5. Never point your hands toward the north during prayer.