Yarwiphen is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, boastful manatee.

Yarwiphen created the cosmos seven million years ago.

If you believe in Yarwiphen, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Yarwiphen, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Yarwiphen's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Yarwiphen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Always treat mites with great respect.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not dye your hair brown.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.