Kamflyhon is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, smart turtle.

Kamflyhon created dark matter four billion years ago.

If you believe in Kamflyhon, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Kamflyhon, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Kamflyhon's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Kamflyhon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never go into gray rooms.