Bantimhontifced is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, impressive swallow.

Bantimhontifced created the Black Eye Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Bantimhontifced, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bantimhontifced, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Bantimhontifced's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Bantimhontifced's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare cucumbers while filled with envy.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never speak of chaos in the presence of elders.

4. Never cross rivers at dawn.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.