Honquatnab is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, dishonourable badger.

Honquatnab created Africa three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Honquatnab, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Honquatnab, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Honquatnab's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Honquatnab's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in the presence of moths.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Always wear orange.

5. Always pray immersed in water.