Wegcemran is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, competent fairy.

Wegcemran created a charm quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wegcemran, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Wegcemran, it will turn you into a tree.

Wegcemran's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Wegcemran's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from turquoise doves for they are unholy.

2. Run away from cyan nematodes, for they are unholy.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not covet oxen.