Gemzedbif is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, duplicitous zebra.

Gemzedbif created Asia three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemzedbif, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Gemzedbif, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Gemzedbif's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Gemzedbif's Holy Commandments

1. Always help otters.

2. Never talk about mice.

3. Never run in holy places.

4. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always make sure there are no snakes in a room before entering it.