Kap is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, capable armadillo.

Kap created a down quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kap, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kap, she will boil you in a big pot.

Kap's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Kap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion tools from lead.

2. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

3. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Kap in the centre of the settlement.

4. You must pray to Kap nine times a day.

5. Do not eat oranges.