Zodflapced is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, blissful capybara.

Zodflapced created the Cigar Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zodflapced, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Zodflapced, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Zodflapced's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Zodflapced's Holy Commandments

1. Learn three new languages a year.

2. Always remove skirts before touching gold.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never speak at dusk.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.