Dumbapget is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, fussy elephant.

Dumbapget created the planet Mars two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dumbapget, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Dumbapget, it will turn you into a snail.

Dumbapget's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Dumbapget's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ants.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not eat bananas.

5. Always treat seals with great respect.