Dag is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, astonishing alligator.

Dag created a bottom quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Dag, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Dag, she will refuse to believe in you.

Dag's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Dag's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Learn five new languages a year.

3. Worship no other gods but Dag.

4. Do not utter prayers while touching platinum.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force near snails while wearing red dresses and balancing seven silicon spheres on your feet.