Omtjapjenarp is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unthoughtful fox.

Omtjapjenarp created the universe three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Omtjapjenarp, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Omtjapjenarp, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Omtjapjenarp's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Omtjapjenarp's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant cyan sculpture of Omtjapjenarp in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never write about cell theory.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never talk about moths.

5. Fast once a month.