Flyruttzan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, generous tortoise.

Flyruttzan created the universe seven million years ago.

If you believe in Flyruttzan, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Flyruttzan, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Flyruttzan's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Flyruttzan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt moths.

2. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in purple.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate shrews.

4. Never feed onions to aardvarks while wearing hats.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.